Care for some insight?

110. My last name: Herbert

109. I was born in: Wollongong

108. I am really: loud

107. My phone is: new <3

106. My eye color is: blue

105. My ring size is: small

104. My height is: small

103. I am allergic to: wattle, grevillia, mosquitos, and some type of caterpillar

102. I was born on: 7th July

101. I am annoyed by: wankers

99. My bed is: really comfortable

98: One thing you don’t like about yourself: I can get insecure sometimes

97. Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back?: depends if I'm sleeping alone or not

96. How do you vent anger? bitching to kaileigh

95. How did your day start off? hitting the snooze button

94. Do you get along with guys or girls better? guys

93. How do you think you look right this moment? terrible display of school uniform

91. My favorite Holiday is: Goldcoast <3

90. The last CD I bought was: no idea

89. Do you have any siblings? nope

88. What did you do yesterday? school, chilled

87. When in doubt?: pick c


:::I Do /Do Not Believe In::::

86. Love at first sight? or do i have to walk by again? ;)

85. Luck? yes

84. Fate? yes

83. Aliens? hell yeah, met my bestfriend? haha

82. Heaven? yes

81. Hell? yes, in my mind it's like Dante's Inferno

80. Ghosts? yes

79. Horoscopes? yes

78. Soulmates? yes

77. Karma? yes


:::Which is Better?:::
AND YES YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE

76. Drunk or High? drunk

75. On the phone or online: phone

74. Red heads or blondes? blondes

73. Blondes or Brunettes? blondes

72. Hot or cold?: hot

71. Summer or Winter: summer

70. Chocolate or vanilla? vanilla

69. Night or Day?: night

68. Oranges or Apples?: oooh thats hard... oranges

67. Curly or Straight hair:? on me - straight, on others - curly


::Here’s What I Think About:::

66. Abortion: if you were just too stupid to use protection, you have to deal with the consequences - if its rape or disease or something like that, then i understand, probably not something i could do myself though

65. Backstabbers: find a cliff, jump off it

64. Parents: weird weird people, but great


:::Last time I:::

63. hugged someone: today

62. Saw someone: at the moment

61: Cried in front of someone? weekend :(


:::Random:::

60. Who is the ditziest person you know: kaileigh when shes trying to catch straws with her mouth

59. Who makes you laugh? brady

58. Last show you watched? phineas and ferb! :D

57. What you don’t understand is? saying you're not talking to someone, and then talking to them like bestfriends, saying you're fighting, when it never happened :S

56. The most unsatisfying answer: meh or idk or idc or up to you

55. Something I really miss when I leave home is? sleep

54. The thing I’m looking forward to the most is? thursday night - true blood session with my favourite person in the world kaileigh... oh and john's coming too :P

53. Tomorrow: after school religion :| jealous?

52. Today: double free <3

51. Next Summer: swimming :D

50. This Weekend: english assignment :(

49. The person(s) who knows the most about me is: kaileigh

48. The most difficult thing to do is? fail epicly

47. I haven’t gotten a speeding ticket: no, no i haven't

46. The first person I talked to today was: mum

45. First time you had a crush: pre-school haha i started early? :S

44. The one person who I can’t hide things from: kaileigh, she follows me into public bathrooms and yells at me until randoms come in hahahaha good times

43. Last time someone said something you were thinking: lunch

42. Right now I am talking to? noone, im blogging first

41. What is your dream job? barrister - a lawyer brady, not a coffee maker :)

40. First job? cash register person at my rents shop

39. I have had these pets: dog/platypus, fish, bird, chickens

38. I can still see: the light... must go towards the light...

37. The worst sound in the world is? the sniffing thing sam does in till human voices wake us, as jess so expertly pointed out today :)

36. The person who makes me cry the most: prick

35. Best sound in the world?: my dogs squeaky noise

34. Who makes you happy? john, kaileigh, brady, ally

33. Cats or dogs?: dogs

32. Myspace or Facebook: Facebook

31. Mexican food or Chinese? chinese <3

30. My favorite piece of clothing? right now its my new leather jacket

29. My favorite color(s) are: red

28. Last time I cried: weekend

27. My friends: know how to have fun

26. My computer is? on my desk

25. Last person I got mad at: i pretended to be mad at brady this morning to scare him, but i wasn't really :)

24. Person you secretly crush on?: i'm having affairs with ally and kaileigh...

23. Favorite place to eat?: at a fancy restaurant

22. Favorite song: bittersweet symphony - the verve

21. The all-time best show is: veronica mars <3

20. The all-time best feeling in the world is: haha well...

19. Favorite scent: vanilla

18. What color is your hairbrush: yellow

17. Favorite shoes: stilletos

16. I lose all respect for people who: judge others

15. favorite channel to watch: comedy

14. favorite food: creme brulee

13. favorite day of the week: saturday

12. Best Feature(s) in the opposite sex: eyes

11. The worst pain I was ever in was: lets not talk about that...

10. Best Memory: kaileigh breaking the toilet seat at school trying to be a ninja

9. Favorite TV show? running now? gossip girl/true blood

8. My favorite singer/band: all time low, paramore, relient k, the maine

7. Favorite Stuffed Animal? teddy bears

6. Greatest Fear: epicly failing at life

5. My weakness is: im very ticklish, and if you play with my hair i cant stay angry or stressed

4. When was your last concert? aamplify? haha thats so sad

3. Who broke your heart? grr

2. One thing that makes you feel great is: shopping, sue me im materialistic

1. One person that you wish you could see right now? anneke, i haven't seen her in forever :(

Sorry to Offend, Actually, No I'm Not

So there's a few things I need to say:

She's my bestfriend, I don't care what you think of her, if I'm within earshot, try not to bitch about her every five seconds, and don't try and argue when I defend her, she's not a bad person and no-one is in the position to judge, how about we pull out every mistake or questionable thing you've ever done, announce it to the world and see how great you look then?

You keep talking about it and joking about it like you don't know the topic is hard for me, can you just give even a little bit of a shit? Is that really too much to ask?

If something doesn't change, I'm going to explode and it won't be pretty.

And Kaylee my dear friend, I am still stalking you :P

Oh and don't worry, noone actually believes you hit her over the head with a guitar :)

That, my friends is my rant for the night, I feel less like punching something, thank you.

You talk like you're famous, you're shameless

The Rumour So Well Known No-one Knew About It?

Woah, I just remembered about this blog, and my last entry was before the musical! Oh how so much has happened since then...
Where to begin?

The musical was amazing, and I don't mean the actual musical, like that went alright, but the backstage fun was unbelievable, and I don't think you can really explain the atmosphere, although everyone seems to have settled to best leave it at 'horny'. We can work with that.

Wicked was also amazing, and me, Brady, John, Ellen and Tom took photo booth pictures using an asian booth which had no english instructions or labelling at all. We hit the pretty buttons until something happened :)

The most important news I can think of at the moment is that Bella came home, which is awesome, God I missed that girl.

Brooke left to live in Malaysia, as you do, poor Brooke, hope Malaysia's nice.

Kaileigh broke a toilet seat, which was the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life EVER. She was trying to jump over into the next cubicle and just landed on the seat, one of those hard ones, not the plastic flimsy ones, and broke straight through it.

Then someone painted the toilet door blue... they must have been super bored.

Carroll Day is soon and i'm excited, as long as the woman gets back to me about my costume! I hope I have a costume for Carroll Day :/ Just my luck if I don't hey.

So we got called into this year group meeting this morning, about a rumour that supposedly everyone knew about... yeah only about a quarter of the year knew about it, so now everyone's talking about it more than before, probably not the school's most strategic move?

By the way, if you don't know the rumour, it's not really worth knowing, it's so far fetched and just obviously a lie there's not even a second where you consider that it might have some base of fact. People have too much time on their hands if they're sitting at home making this shit up.

Seriously, get a hobby, knit something, collect some stamps. There are options.

Anyways, I have things to do, so I'll leave you with this semi-related quote:

“No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar”

Costumes

Note: in my last blog, it wasn't me who was hooking up with the randoms, I was talking about someone, kind of an inside joke I guess, sorry if I confused anyone haha

Anyway, I found my webcam tonight :) Yay :) It was under a newspaper haha

My economics teacher has decided when I'm tired/have a headache, I'm officially stoned. Nice. You can see we get a lot done in class haha

If you're bored and looking for a laugh, hit up peopleofwalmart.com, it makes me laugh :)

Wicked in 12 days :) Get keen. It's going to be so much fun.

So I need to start looking for costumes for the musical, I need:
- Nightclub clothes
- Wedding outfit
- Italian/Irish wedding outfit

Hit up Vinnies maybe? Costume hire places?

John has to spend the weekend with his family this week, so I am yet to have figured out what I'm doing tomorrow... hmm I'll think of something :) Musical rehearsals again this Sunday - last one at school. We only have like three full cast rehearsals before the performances :/ Start to panic? Hahaha nah that's why being ensemble is so good, I just need costumes and I'm good to go :)

Dylan just helped me get my webcam working, I am forever in his debt, and he won't let me forget it haha Thanks dyl :) You're beating Brady for my favourite hahahahaha kidding.

Well I might go raid my wardrobe for potential costumes...

Quote of the day: "Brady just likes lesbians" "Well yes!"

Random

Hahaha well that was random.

So someone I haven't talked to in forever just said hi, checking in and so forth, sharing with me some drunken stories of hooking up with randoms, who yes, are randoms, if you don't know their names, they're randoms.

So now I have three very angry and protective guys who don't want this person anywhere near me. Predicament :S

Anyway, life is good :) It's cold, but apart from that everything's good.

I quit tennis, got over it. Hopefully my lack of exercise now doesn't matter haha

My birthday's soon, in about a month. Start getting me presents? Haha I'm still somewhat undecided about what I want to do. Oh well, I'll figure it out :)

Russian Roulette isn't the same without a gun
And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun

I'm having a serious sense of de ja vu

Hog's Breath was awesome fun :) We had cake for entree, Kaileigh couldn't find the door and the waitress was on crack. Maccas for dessert, where Sarah went into the play area to play the dance game while Kaileigh had a smoke, the irony of all this was not lost on Kodie and I, who laughed for ages about those two. Hahaha :)

Quote of the day: "I could strip and he wouldn't be distracted from this"

Loving Life :)

I have a new folder, win. Now my notes don't fall out and get all ripped due to broken folder lameness. :D

I'm having pasta for dinner again, because I'm in the mood for something light and out of a packet haha
I'd just like to say thank you, to the three of you, because I realise you might have felt uncomfortable with the whole thing, but you supported me and that means a lot :)

But I'm fine now :) Better than fine really, back to my usual I don't really care what you think, if thats how you're going to be your a sad little person with no life attitude. Hahaha

So Brady and Dylan have this competition running, I'm not sure why or how it started, but everytime they compliment me, they get a point, and for every point they get a lolly and they're trying to see who can get the most lollies. It sounds like something I'd invent if I was a self centred control freak, which sorry, I'm not, they thought this up all on their own. I don't win out in the end anyway, I'm the one who has to pay for the prize lollies haha. But i'm waiting til they get to like 100 and just buying them a packet of lollies each, it's easier that way.

So far Dylan's winning, sorry Brady :)

The things those two will do to get lollies haha

Things I'm looking forward to within the next 3 months:
- True Blood series 1 and 2 on dvd in my possession
- Wicked (in 15 days)
- Musical rehearsal week
- Musical performances
- My birthday
- Holidays
- Bella comes home <3
- John getting his bike licence so he can ride out and see me
- My new phone
- New Ipod coz this one's full

Pretty much, the next three months are looking pretty good, because the only not so great things that are expected are:
- Advanced English visual representation task
- Extension English screen play and seminar

So far, that's it.

As you can see, there's so many more positive things than negative, so I'm super happy about that :)

Loving life :)

Mum bought me the Sookie Stackhouse book series, which makes me smile :)

Quote of the day: "Is that even a person? Shows how important they are, I've never heard of them" - Laura <3

Veronica Mars

Hello :)
I'm cooking Alfredo for dinner, yumm <3
It was Mum's birthday yesterday, I baked her a white chocolate mud cake, it was a success, which is a relief - i'd never baked a mudcake before then.
Today I watched Dracula and Scrubs, I love Scrubs :):)
I felt the need to write this pointless yet somewhat cheery blogpost because people seem to be concerned due to my last post being a bit depressing. Sorry about that :/

"I ran into this charter boat"
"You didn't see it?"
"So now I have insurance I'm covered"
"How could you not see a charter boat?!"
(While she runs around with a towel over her head) "Charter boat?? What Charter boat?"

I love that ad ^^^

Oooh Mum's putting Veronica Mars on <3
John wasn't allowed to leave his house to come over today because he's sick, he's in quarantine all locked up.

So I'm off to watch Veronica Mars and its awesomeness, later :)

Quote of the day: "Veronica Mars, saving the world one pointless act at a time"

Dancing With Tears In My Eyes

It's a new day, but it all feels old
It's a good life, that's what I'm told
But everything, it all just feels the same

Sorry I made your parents angry with you.
Sorry I can't be good enough to make you happy with me.
Sorry that you're disappointed in me.
Sorry I can't be smart enough.
Sorry I'm writing a somewhat depressing blog, if you don't like it then don't fucking read it.

Simple as that.

At my high school, it felt more to me
Like a jail cell, a penitentiary
My time spent there, it only made me see

Sorry that you get frustrated i'm never as hungry as you think I should be.
Sorry for what's to come.
Sorry if this upsets you, don't let it, it's not that important.
Sorry I cost you so much money.
Sorry you have to put up with me.

That I don't ever wanna be like you
I don't wanna do the things you do
I'm never gonna hear the words you say
and I don't ever wanna, I don't ever wanna be

I think that's it. Now if noone has any objections, I'm going to feel like absolute shit for the night, probably get lectures about how my life is perfect and I should be grateful, then I may or may not tell those people to fuck off.

Go to college, a university, get a real job,
That's what they said to me
But I could never live the way they want
I'm gonna get by, and just do my time, out of step while, they all get in line
I'm just a minor threat so pay no mind

I'm not saying my life is worse than anyone elses, I'm not saying noone understands, I'm just saying that I feel like shit. I'm allowed to feel like shit. And I'm allowed to have a shit blog post, because apparently all my writing is shit anyway.

Shake it once, that's fine
Shake it twice, that's okay
Shake it three times, you're playing with yourself, again

I need more angry music. Where's Kaileigh when I need her? She has heaps of angry music. If you have any angry music suggestions, please let me know.

You...don't wanna be just like you
What I'm sayin' is this is the anthem throw all your hands up,
Y'all got to feel me, sing if you're with me, you, don't wanna be just like you (just like you)
This is the anthem throw all your hands up, y'all got to feel me, sing if you're with me
Another loser anthem (whoa-oh)
Another loser anthem (whoa-oh)
Another loser anthem (whoa-oh)
Another loser anthem

My day was good until I got into legal studies, it was all downhill from there. I want to rewind back to lunch and just never get past that point in time.

Hold a double funeral, because a part of you will die along with me
I wish you thought I was dead, so instead of me you'd be depressed instead

Faking My Own Suicide

My exams are over :D Yay.

Extension wasn't bad, I remembered my essay and the creative response went alright, all round success :)

We should get jerseys
Cause we make a good team
But yours would look better than mine
Cause you're out of my league

Brady has been trying to convince me to watch two girls one cup, but he's not tricking me, he's pretending like its awesome or something. Silly boy.

I can not wait for a new improved way
To let you know you're more to me than what I know how to say
You're ok with the way this is going to be
Cause this is going to be the best thing we've ever seen

You know what's weird? When you get told that your boyfriend was playing the drums without pants on, but they fail to add that he was still wearing his boxers until afterwards. There's this funny little moment where you don't know whether to laugh or be horrified, so you nervously laugh and judge their reaction. When they start laughing too, you know that it's more funny that terrible. But when Kass says 'Your boyfriend was walking around the music rooms with no pants on' you start to wonder all over again about the music students :P But there were boxers on at all times I'm told, so it's ok. Apparently drumming is hard with long pants on? I wouldn't know. Maybe it's just John's general dislike for pants? Either way, it's a funny thought :)

So Dylan is rudolf the reindeer. This started this morning when we were paying him out for his bad memory, and Ally suggested a sticker like you get at Dreamworld for kids that say 'Hi my name is......... If you find me I am lost. Please return me to........... on phone number .......... or take me to an information kiosk. Thank you.'

So we figure that Kass would be Dylan's contact person on his sticker, but Ally and I decided we'd ship him off instead in a box, with a carrott and air holes. But the carrott would attract a horse or reindeer, according to Ally, so I decided Dylan was the reindeer. We're shipping him off to Santa, coz Santa deserves presents too.

Kass thinks it's a great idea, and for good measure we're sending Dyl's evil cat along to the North Pole with him, because it looks at people funny, including me. Evil little thing. It's just staring and then it disappears and you don't know where it goes.

Maybe I'm just lucky
Cause it's hard to believe
That somebody like you'd end up with someone like me
And I know that it's so cliché
To talk about you this way
But I'll push all my inhibitions aside
It's so very obvious
To everyone watching us
That we have got something real good going on

Oh well.

That's irrelevant.

Musical rehearsals Sunday, yay :):)

If anyone could make me a better person, you could
All I gotta say is I must have done something good
You came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I must have done something right
I must have done something right

Quote of the day: "What's so hot about twins anyway? That's incest! They're related!" "So? They're not related to me."

Well You Tickled Me;

Sooooooooooooo...

One more exam to go tomorrow afternoon - extension english. I don't like that they made that my last exam, because the relief of all my other exams when I've had the 'haven't failed' or the 'it's over now' feelings, in the back of my mind a little voice has said 'sure you're fine now, but when you get to extension, you're screwed'.

I'm not sure why I'm so scared of it. I've already done an extension assesment before, and I got a high mark. But there's something about an essay and a creative response all at once that's got my head spinning. I'm hoping I won't get my other two english essays confused with this one and instead of writing about Dracula, start talking cultural identity or Shakespeare. That could be awkward. Hahaha.

So I have my extension essay all written and ready to go, but here's the thing - it's a thousand and something words - not going to be able to write all that down in time and imagine and write a creative response. This will be interesting. Lucky I don't have a morning exam, I plan on writing and re-writing my essay until I can do it quickly. John will be impressed, what quality time? Hahaha whoops?

Enough about that.

Kass and I had a giggling fit in our maths exam because I made a pirate ship out of my formula sheet and drew on little pirates saying piratey, yet maths related slogans. I also plaited my hair in that exam, Miss Cohen said it looked 'beautiful' which was kind of her. I think she may have just been mocking my hair dressing in a maths exam though, i'm not sure lol.

There was a question in the maths exam about 'Perry' which made me think of perry the platypus off phineas and ferb, which made me have to hold my hands off my mouth to stop a laughing fit, because all i wanted to do was go 'Oh there you are Perry!' Which obviously I couldn't, coz they would have kicked me out. Maybe it would have been worth it, I would have got a laugh out of it at least. In my mind, this is how that would have gone down: Kaileigh would have gone 'omg perry!', John would have laughed, Kass would have pissed herself laughing, Brady would have said 'I really have to watch that show', Ally would look stressed coz she doesn't like exams and Dylan would have turned around and said 'I hate that show! Why does the platypus have a hat?! As if it isn't obvious it's still him!' Which would have started a perry the platypus/phineas and ferb debate, much to the chagrin of miss cohen.

So I have decided that I will calm the music students down, coz they're stressing over their music practical. How you ask? Simple. Guitar hero. Perfect plan. It's musical, fun, and me, Kaileigh and Ally would just kick their asses anyway, hence calming them down. I think it would work. Plus John wouldn't have to worry about double kicks and Brady couldn't break any strings. Everyone's happy :) Plus you don't need to tune guitar hero, and they seem to tune a lot.

My dog's sitting on my economics folder :/ Oh well, I don't need it and she seems comfortable.

Well considering I seem to be neglecting my friends on msn to write this, I should cut it short.

Quote of the day:
Ally: Are you hurt?
Brady: *curled over, wincing* yes.
Ally: Well you tickled me.

Brace Yourselves

Holy shit, this is going to be awful.

Countdown :)

Heyyyyy (:

I had today off school, because I woke up feeling like death warmed up. Still feel sick, but I figure one day off school in the week before exams is quite enough, two would be pushing it.

Dum de dum de dum

Umm I had something to say, but now it's kind of gone. Sorry about that.

Well I figure I should write something substantial, because as I am reminded by my cruel, I mean loving, boyfriend, I tend to ramble on a bit.

There's a documentary on tv at the moment about elephants and how they suffer from stress which makes them kill people. Sounds fair enough I suppose. Elephants have feelings too.

So ever had someone close to you find something out about you that you'd rather they didn't know, and they rather they didn't know, so they don't talk about it and you don't talk about it, but acting normal seems a little odd? Yeah that sucks, and is happening to me at the moment. I forget sometimes though, and everything will be normal and then i'll remember and want to run away and hide. Hahaha but it's funny now. So maybe not run and hide for too long, just until I'm distracted. I mean you have to laugh, it's pretty comical.

Could be worse :)

Exams are coming! Hide!!! Ergh I don't like them. Well noone does, but still, I feel the need to express my disdain for their existence. Grrrr.

Bella's home in two months. :D

I'm so keen, I wish it was sooner, but two months isn't that long at all. She's missed out on so much though. So much has happened, so much has changed, I bet it'll be weird for her to come back to everything so different. It's all stuff she knows about though, so that's good.

You know what's demeaning? Apparently I have a bedtime because I'm sick. :| And no, not from my parents. But from John. Because apparently I should rest and get better. A bedtime for crying out loud. A bedtime of 10! And Brady's backing him up. Betrayal hahahaha.

Oh well, I can't think of much more because I'm all drugged up on cold medicine, so I'll bid thee goodnight!

Wow, "bid thee goodnight" <-- that's what I get for writing an essay on A Midsummer Night's Dream, i've got Shakespeare on the brain.

If it wasn't amusing me, I'd delete that part, but I guess it shows you how lame I can be, yay? Hahaha

Quote of the day: "I'm an elephant! And don't you dare say it's because I'm fat and wrinkly, it's because I'm stressed." "So, fat and wrinkly ehh?"

Here We Go...

And I'm here, to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away

I'm angry. I guess thats the best way to describe it. I'm angry because I had to watch people I care about hurt. Also the inconsistency of our school, last time something like this happened there was no chocolate or chips, there was nothing at all. No support, no time out.

Tough luck, sorry about that, now get to class.

Who would've thought? It figures.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that there was support, they needed it. But they're not the first, and when others needed it before them, it wasn't there. Maybe the system's changing for the better. I hope so.

It still pisses me off though.

Kaileigh was right, it just makes you want to go confront a teacher and demand an explanation, but I doubt we'd get one. So many unanswered questions.

Sorry for my angry little blog, but I needed to get this out of my sysetm before I do my English homework.

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

The worst thing is, I don't know who to be angry at. Maybe I'm not angry at anyone in particular, but all of a sudden, now I can think of someone to blame. Who started it all, who if they had any sense of decency about them, they wouldn't have done it. Then this would have never happened, there wouldn't even be the whisper of a consideration. And it's their fault my friends are hurting, one in particular. Does burn in hell sound cliche? I don't care, ergh I hate being this angry.

On a lighter note, get keen for the weekend. It'll be good :):):)

Until next time...

“Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.” - Dr. Laurence J. Peter

Saturday Night In The City?

Helllllllllllllllo :)

I just had fairy bread and coffee, so my mood has peaked from all the sugar and caffeine. I'll probs fall asleep in like half an hour if I don't have another coffee though, coz I was tired to start off with. Oh well.

Wedding Singer musical rehearsals were today. It was pretty fun. We didn't do much though, although Emily and I watched A Very Potter Musical on youtube on the projector, which confused a few people. But they loved it. Hahaha :)

Dylan wants me to blog about him. But I refuse, he can blog about himself :P

Dylan says:
blog about meeeeeee
xx Bec says:
hahaha
no
ill mention this though
Dylan says:
haha, i want more than a mention
make something up even, aslong as im there, and theres some substance to it

That's all you're getting dyl, soz.

I have an economics assignment I should be doing... hmm, oh well.

So I'm pretty happy lately, which is good. Not that I wasn't happy before, but my stress levels are decreasing, yay :) I guess I don't have anything wrong with my life, so I'm lucky, really lucky, so I won't even be hypocritical and complain about anything. Life is good.

Keen for this weekend :):):) Ellen, Sarah and Laura's combined birthday shindig <3 So keen, we haven't had a proper group get together in so long. I really miss them :)

I've decided I'm going to start driving more, and get over my fear of crashing and killing everyone. Surely I can't be that bad... right? Let's hope not haha

My nanna saw a picture of John and I on my wall today, and I'm poking my tongue out (facebook default, you've probably seen it) and this was how that played out:
Nanna - "That's a lovely photo of John, why did you have to ruin it?"
Me - "Ruin it? Huh?"
Nanna - "You pulled a face, you could have just smiled you know, poor boy"

And then she walked off. I feel loved. Hahahahaha

Well for fear of starting to ramble more than usual, I shall bid you good day :):):)

Quote of the day: "And don't suggest a giant slide or a trampoline... because we've already tried those"

Ramblings :)

I find myself in an incredibly stressed mood, and I'm not even too sure why. Ok, well maybe that's partly untrue. I mean I have a fair idea of what's upsetting me, but I can't exactly blog about them because they're not about me, you know? So at the moment, it's this bloody English re-writing of the annotations that's stressing me out, mainly because it's been my activity of choice for the night.

I wish that I could freeze time and go to a tropical island with a few of my close friends for a few weeks and just relax, which sounds ridiculous I know because it's only the first week back at school. But I'm just being honest. We'd stay on the island for 2-3 weeks then come home, get ahead on our school work then unfreeze time and watch everyone wonder how we did it. Although now I feel bad for everyone else, I guess it'd be a bit unfair. Maybe a heap of people could go, but hang out with their friends, or as a whole group, I don't think it'd matter. But tension and stress is already building up so early it's ridiculous.

Tomorrow I will get hugs, because hugs make everything better. Because at the end of the day we all just want to be hugged. That's my philosophy anyway.

Sorry this isn't all lyriced and quoted up like my usual blogs, but I think I might go to sleep, I find myself really tired for some reason.

I apologise for my ramblings, I'll blog properly in a few days when I'm not busy, night :) xxxx

I bet your parents are proud

Ally has decided I should blog this morning, at 2:33am, so, here we are.

Forgive me if I talk shit, but really what do you expect at this hour? So currently, Ally and I are staying up talking random shit about everything and everyone, just being awesome. I have finished all three of my extension english assesments and that makes me smile. Nesquik all round :):)

So she's all up in my head now, got me thinking that it might good idea to take her with me,
'Cause she's ready to leave (ready to leave)
But I gotta keep it real now, 'cause on a one to ten she's a certified twenty, but that just ain't me. Hey.

Because I don't know if I take that chance just where it's gonna lead,
But what I do know is the way she dance makes shorty alright with me.
The way she (get low!)
I'm like yeah, just work that out for me.
She asked for one more dance and I'm
Like yeah, how the hell am I supposed to leave?
And I said
Yeah

My silly boyfriend is camping, so I can't talk to him coz his phone has no reception, which upsets me. But it's ok, coz I'll talk to him Sunday when he comes home :) I have been informed school goes back on Tuesday, not Monday, which also makes me smile, because I get another day of awesome holidayness. That, however means that my first day back at school will start at 7:30, and I will not see John because he will be at Tafe.

Bec Freeman, may I add, won the best dressed at aamplify, which is deffo worth a mention yay :):)

So I'm really missing Bella, we've been talking heaps the past couple of days and I'm itching for her to come home :(

OMG I had a dream there was a crocodile in my backyard last night, and I pointed it out to my Mum and she said 'I'd say it's more of a lizard'. But it was this huge crocodile! So I told Mum to grab our dog (which is tiny) so the crocodile wouldn't eat her, and Mum replied by saying she reckoned our dog 'could take it'. She was no help whatsoever. Then as the crocodile ate a VB carton, and all she could say was 'oop, Al (our neighbour who drinks VB) won't be happy about that' and walked inside. If there is ever a real crocodile in my backyard, I hope her reaction will be a bit more reasonable than that.

Yeah (yeah) Shorty got down low and said come and get me
Yeah (yeah) I got so caught up I forgot she told me
Yeah (yeah) Her and my girl used to be the best of homies
Yeah (yeah) Next thing I knew she was all up on me screaming:

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! Yeah, Yeah! Yeaah!
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! Yeah, Yeah! Yeaah!

Ally wishes for me to talk about her now. Well Ally is awesome and we are plotting to overthrow the world together, enslaving most people as our minions, so you may want to mark that in your calendar.

Speaking of calendars... ok I've got nothing. Never mind.

It's Ellen's birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLEN I LOVE YOU :):):)

Sarah is having a tupperware party on Tuesday, which I just found out I can't go to :( I shall text her later, at a more reasonable hour, and tell her the bad news :( :(

Get keen for ANZAC day, I'm going to a barbeque with the lovely Chapmans, who are my second family, then to a big birthday shindig for a guy whose house dad built, and John's coming to both of them too. Then we're either camping out at the guy's house, or getting home... how we'll get home I'm not quite sure, coz everyone will be drinking... ok make that we're camping out at the guy's house :)

Quote of the day: "slut" "and proud of it" "yeah I bet your parents are proud too"

Let's Recap Shall We?

It's been so long since I last posted, it's somewhat ridiculous. So I sit here now in my last night of freedom (the next week must be devoted to assesments) and reflect on my holidays so far.

It's obvious I'm so into you boy
So why don't we hold on for love
Through the ups and downs
Never let go
Holding on forever never let go

Let's recap shall we?

Soooo Easter doesn't really need a mention, just stayed at home with the family, got lots of chocolate, same as everyone elses. Tuesday I went into the Bay, watched a movie with friends for a birthday, had lunch. Warning: the back row seats to the left in Cinema 2 squeak something shocking. So when you're sitting there with your boyfriend and move in the seat, no matter how innocent your intentions are, people will think you're up to no good. Can't say I blame them, the whole thing sounded very very sus.

So Wednesday John slept over at mine the night, Friday night I slept over at his. I won't bore you with details :P

Thursday was Lorraine's funeral, which was so sad. As most funerals are. Especially since the family wanted me to say the Prayers of the Faithful, so I wasn't just attending the funeral, but getting up at Church and reading out all six of the prayers, which, I now know, is extremely hard when you're trying to stop crying :/ RIP <3

Fast forward to Saturday - Aamplify. I love aamplify. So much fun. Caught up with friends, just hung out and had a great time :D Plus I got to dress up as a hippy, which was good fun. Then Saturday night (last night) John stayed at mine, after getting lectures from some of my friends about 'taking advantage of me' which was hilarious. Well I thought so anyway.

So I think you're now up to date on the recent happenings of my life. Until next time :)

Quote of the day: When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows. ~Frederike Ryder

Don't you worry what their bitter hearts are gonna say

Hey,
Don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out,
Or looked down on.
Just try your best,
Try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away.

[Chorus]
It just takes some time,
little girl, you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright. (alright)

Hey,
You know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, (on your own)
So don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough (good enough)
For someone else.

[Chorus x2]

Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out, (feel left out)
Or looked down on.
Just do your best, (just do your best)
Do everything you can. (do everything you can)
And don't you worry what their bitter hearts (bitter hearts)
Are gonna say.

[Chorus x2]


FUCK I LOVE THAT SONG.

Thought I should share it's awesomeness with you :D

So I found out yesterday that there was a possibility an acquaitance through Vinnies, who had turned into someone I was quite close to had passed away. Today it was confirmed. This is one of those things where you wonder why this could happen to such a lovely lady. Probably the kindest, most generous women I've ever met, I guess it was just her time. I'm still in a bit of a state of denial, it won't hit me until I'm at the funeral :(

Quote of the day: Always be kind for everyone is fighting a hard battle - Plato

Mentos Gum

Heyyyyyy (: I'm chewing mentos gum, yay :)

So what has happened since I last blogged?

I got a boyfriend :) Yay John :)

I'm loving life, so noone try and bring me down :D

Had a day off normal school today for the musical today. Pretty much I didn't need it, I mean it was good fun and I'm glad I'm involved, but I don't need to practice being a wedding guest, which are the only scenes we did today that I'm in. They might be cutting the bridesmaid scene I'm in, which I'll be devo if they do and I have no idea what I do when I'm a 'Jersey girl', but Miss tells me I'll get to wear lots of hideous 80's inspired formal dresses :| Haha it actually sounds like fun. We'll look ridiculous, but it'll be fun.

In my head, I see you all over me.
In my head, you fulfill my fantasy.
Youll be screaming no.
In my head, its going down.
In my head, its going down.
In my head. Yeah. In my head. Oh yeah.

Kaileigh got that song stuck in my head ^^

I've started planning my outfit for aamplify, it's hippie themed, so I think I'll buy some hippie dress or tie dye something, not quite sure yet ehh. Bec's going to lend me a dress. I love Bec. <3 <3 Get keen for aamplify :D

You take your lovers that you're wicked and divine
You may be a sinner
But your innocence is mine

Quote of the day: Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you - Fran Leibowitz

Viva la Weekend

So I got my Legal Assesment out of the way today :D

Omg, this weekend will be so good. Tennis semis tomorrow (Saturday) morning, then chilling with Brady, Ally, John and Alex until 3:30. The at 3:30 going into town, and seeing some movie called Bounty Hunter with Sarah and John. The movie's supposed to be really good, and Jennifer Aniston's in it, and she goes alright, so it should be chilled :) Then staying at Sarah's the night, which is where Kaileigh will be too :D Pretty much have a weekend full of hanging out with my friends. I'm so keen :D :D

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

I'm now in the mood to watch Prince Caspian. Hmm. Maybe later.

Bella's online :) Yay :)

Well I'm off to give my attention to Bella, until next time.

Quote of the day: "Whenever I hear the word naivety I think of Jesus, you know that barn he was born in, it's called a naivety, with the donkey?" "Don't you mean nativity?" "Oh yeah, that one"

:):) xxx

Why Else Would I Be Up This Late?

Maybe I need some rehab
Or maybe just need some sleep
I got a sick obsession
I'm seeing it in my dreams
I'm looking down every alley
I'm making those desperate calls
I'm staying up all night hoping
Hitting my head against the wall

Judge judge judge bitch bitch bitch. Keen for holidays, is all I'm going to say lol

Everyone's skitting up, calm down. Stop taking everything so seriously, have some fun, chill. I guess school might have everyone a tad stressed, and I sure know it's been stressing me out, but some perspective, courtesy of Miss Cohen set things straight. She's right, if you think of everything as one mark, for one subject, in your prelim year, it seems less daunting.

I've started to realise I'm somewhat of a jealous person. Interesting. I don't know why it bothers me, and I guess it's not bothering me a large amount, just an annoying little thing that plays in the back of my mind. I wish it would go away. :/

I don't care what people say
The rush is worth the price I pay
I get so high when you're with me
But crash and crave you when you leave

I should probably go to bed soon.

Ergh I can't get the thought of it out of my head, I'm going to send myself insane lol

Quote of the day: “When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.”

Chocolate Nesquik

I'm drinking my chocolate Nesquik and listening to All Time Low, generally loving life.

Bella should come home early. I miss her heaps. Ergh stupid England, give me back my friend. July 16th is when she comes home I think. I may just go to the airport to pick her up... I wonder if anyone wants to come with me? We should go up as a group and surprise her. :D

So what's new? Got my maths test results back today, 93%, i'm happy with that :)

So I got my extension english work for the holidays: two narrative creative responses and one essay, plus the analysis work for the core text. There goes my social life :(

Oh and I have an RE essay and questions due Monday, so there goes my Sunday.

Oh well, I have Saturday, and that'll be heaps of fun :) My tennis semis are on Saturday, then I'm hanging out with friends in Moruya, yay :D

Now to share with you my tied first favourite song of all time: With Me by Sum 41

I don't want this moment to ever end
Where everythings nothing without you
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you

Through it all, I made my mistakes
I stumble and fall, but I mean these words

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

Thoughts read unspoken, forever in doubt
Pieces of memories fall to the ground
I know what I didn't have so, I won't let this go
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you

All the streets where I walked alone, with nowhere to go
I've come to an end

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies
When you don't know what you're looking to find
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies
When you just never know what you will find (what you will find)

I don't want this moment to ever end
Where everythings nothing without you

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go (I want you to know)
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go


Now you are enlightened. No need to thank me :P

Msn that doesn't work and internet that cuts out is the most annoying thing in the world for me at this very moment. Gahhh learn to work!!!

Well I should do some Legal Studies work, until next time :):)

Quote of the day: Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

Blah Blah Blah

Oh girl you're such a shit talker
And everybody knows it

I'm in a bit of a Ke$ha mood, so forgive the random song quotes.

So what goes on? My tennis team made the semi finals yay :):) Had our twilight retreat yesterday. I wouldn't rave about it, but then again I wasn't in the best of moods to start off with, so maybe it wasn't that bad. Oh well, I think it was just the whole 'love yourself' theme that' we get every reflection day that made it all a tad cliche. Although the games were fun and for the most part the group discussions were interesting. Make the most of what you've got I guess. :)

You're looking like a tool and not a baller
You're acting like a chick why bother
I can find someone way hotter
With a bigger, well


I really stress that you should all watch 'A Very Potter Musical' on youtube. Even if you hate Harry Potter, it's still hilarious. It's a take off everything, and is probably the funniest youtube series things I've ever seen. But you have to watch a few of them to get into it, so if you're going to watch it at all, don't watch the first one and think 'hmm not so funny, might stop now' - keep watching it, skip the songs if you hate musicals, it's too hilarious to miss. :):)

Well that's my recommendation for the night.

So msn is saying everyone's offline, which is odd. Unless you use the old msn, or ebuddy, then you show up. So now I'm using old msn and its antiquity is frustrating, but people can see I'm online, so at least I can talk to my friends.

Last extension english lesson for the term today, coz Sir's going to be away next week. Win! A week free of a 7:30 school start. Ily life.

What else is new? Oh speaking of extension english, I'm currently watching a german, black and white, silent film in the classes - yeah just when you thought your text was lame, my german silent film just kicked its ass haha.

Well that's all folks.

Quote of the day: After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut. - Will Rogers

You Know I Speak Whale

Awesome day :D So much fun. Bought a new dress and a vest, which i love. Brady jumped off the swings and ran into a table, was hilarious. Then Brady and John had swing wars, which was pretty funny to watch. They kept kicking at each other, nearly falling off in the process. Then John got cut because the little kids could spin around more than him. Haha, they had superior swinging skills. Showed up thos two who nearly kicked each other in the head, then got twisted and stuck. All in all, great day, so once again, I'm in a fantastic mood.

I just made a lasagne, yum :)

"But Sandy Plankton told me they only lived to 100"

Hahahaha mum just massacred the garlic bread, and doesn't know why dad's laughing at her. Hehe.

I'm in too good of a mood to blog, I'd rather be chatting and stuff, so I'll leave you here.

Oh wait! Get keen for twilight retreat! So keen!

Nemo's on. Ily nemo.

"Fin, noggen, dude!"

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep

'Cause they'd fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude
But I would just stand and stare

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance

A fox trot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball that's just hanging by a thread

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

Leave my door open just a crack
(Please take me away from here)
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac
(Please take me away from here)
Why do I tire of counting sheep
(Please take me away from here)
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

To ten million fireflies
I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell

But I'll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seems

Btw, I love life :D

Quote of the day: "You know I speak whale"

Why Must You Put It In Your Pants?

OMG I'M IN THE HAPPIEST MOOD!!!
YAYAYAYAYAY

Got my new haircut this arvo, and I love it. Absolutely adore it.

Now I aint saying she a gold digger...

Oh and apparently someone in year 11's going round telling year 10 boys I had sex with one of my guy friends? So just so everyone knows, I didn't. Not even close. So I have no idea where you're getting your information from, coz it's wrong. So sorry to be boring, but no illicit pre-marital sex with randoms for me. That is rather boring I suppose, but if I did do half the things I've heard I've done, I'd have a much more action-packed life. But that's the same for everyone.

Now that's out of the way, back to me having a great day :D

Handed in my Chinese narrative and did a maths test today, both great to get out of the way.

Keen for tomorrow, just hanging out with some friends after tennis, going to be good fun :):)

I love life. I'm so so happy it's weird. But in a good way.

My maths study was sabotaged in free period, so if I go awful in the test, I know who to blame :P

The new 5 gum - watermelon flavour - Tempest - is soooo good. I'm just sitting here with my gum and new haircut loving everything. You could probably start abusing me and I wouldn't care, I'm on a natural high :D

Woo Hoo Hooooo!
Woo hoo hooooo!
Debbie just hit the wall
She never had it all
One Prozac a day
Husband's a CPA
Her dreams went out the door
When she turned 24.
Only been with one man
What happened to her plan?

She was gonna be an actress
She was gonna be a star
She was gonna shake her ass
On the hood of White Snake's car
Her yellow SUV is now the enemy
Looks at her average life
And nothing, has been...
all right since

Bruce Springsteen, Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she's uncool
Cuz she's still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985

Woo Hoo Hooooo!
(1985)
Woo Hoo Hooooo!

She’s seen all the classics
She knows every line
"Breakfast Club", "Pretty In Pink"
Even "St. Elmo's Fire"
She rocked out to Wham!
Not a big Limp Bizkit fan
Thought she'd get a hand
On a member of Duran Duran

Where's the mini-skirt made of snakeskin?
And who's the other guy that's singing in Van Halen?
When did reality become T.V.?
What ever happened to sitcoms, game shows,
(on the radio was)

Springsteen, Madonna
way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she's uncool
Cuz she's still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985

Woo Hoo Hooooo!

She hates time, make it stop
When did Motley Crue become classic rock?
And when did Ozzy become an actor?
Please make this stop, stop, STOP(tick tick tick) and bring back

Springsteen, Madonna
way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she's uncool
Cuz she's still preoccupied
With 1985

Woo Hoo Hooooo!

Bruce Springsteen, Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV (Woohoo)
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she's uncool (1985)
Cuz she's still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985


Everyone has formspring, should I get one? I'm undecided.

Oh well, I'll think about it later. Now I'm just bopping out to my ipod. Yeah I said bopping, I like bopping ok, bopping is fun.

I realised how small I was today, it came in an epiphany as john lifted me into the air with one arm, and kept me there. I really am small haha.

Quote of the day: "Why must you put my steamroller in your pants? I mean really, you put everything I own in your pants! Why?!"

Just Thought I Should Say...

I just felt the need to say I have finished my Chinese Cultural Identity narrative. I will write a proper blog tomorrow night. That is all. :):):)

YAY me, btw.

If You Can't Fix It With Duct Tape You Aren't Using Enough

Hair appointment for Friday! Well, I think so. Mum's going in tomorrow to confirm for me. Yay. Get keen :):):)

Head under water
And you tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder, even I know that
Made room for me but it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands

I'm unusually hard to hold on to
Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you asked for it
'cause you need one, you see

I intended to write quite a bit of my English narrative this afternoon. You know what happened? It didn't save to my flash drive. So I could accomplish nothing. So I wrote out a heap of economics notes instead.

"Hey Bec, do you know what this fruit is?" *holds up a nectarine*
"Sure, it's a nectarine, haven't you had one before?"
"No, are they nice?"
"Yeah, a bit like a peach I guess, without the fluff"
"I've never had a peach..."
"You poor, neglected child."

^^ Everyone should experience peaches and nectarines, otherwise their life has not been fully lived. Let it also be known, that this person has never had a Sunnyboy iceblock either, deprived child.

You know what's making my laugh recently? The itty bitty year seveners who are currently 'in love' and wearing more foundation on one day than my whole group wears in a week. I mean, they're twelve. Then they call each other 'sluts' and have to go to 'anger management' to control their rage. What rage? Who has rage in year seven? I find it hilarious. What are they fighting about? "You dirty little slut! How dare you bring a Chloe Bratz doll to school?! I'm obviously Chloe, you're such a Yasmin!! Whore!!!" *slapping fest*

Well, that's how I imagine it to go down anyway.

I learned the hard way
That they all say things you want to hear
And my heavy heart sinks deep down under you and
Your twisted words,
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry
Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

I also find it amusing the music students are saying that everyone's starting to go on about how they don't go to class again. It's funny coz I've actually heard people say it. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the music students, I'm friends with a few of them, I just find it amusing that they're so notorious as the 'music students'. Probably coz they've told me how much they hate the label, I find it ironic that they can never really live it down. No offence guys, just appeals to my sense of humour :)

Speaking of music students, I got my script for the musical the other day. I know. :| Brooke and I are wedding guests. Hahaha. Oh well, should be fun I guess, I'm hoping I don't actually have to dance, because contrary to what I've previously said, Brooke says we don't actually dance. Looks like I don't need that in with the choreographer anymore :P

I've fought it for a long time now
While drowning in a river of denial
I washed up, fixed up, picked up
All my broken things

OMG In after school religion today, an announcement calling "Mr Prior, Mr Sutton or anyone" because a school goat escaped the Agriculture department. Funniest thing I've ever heard. You would have sworn the goat was attacking the office lady, she made it sound so dramatic. Maybe she was just trying not to laugh.

I'm really keen for this Twilight retreat for our year group (the time in the afternoon, not the book series) it should be good fun :)

But can you hear me say?
Don’t throw me away
And there’s no way out
I gotta hold you somehow

I wanna I wanna I wanna touch you
You wanna touch me too
Everyday but all I have is time
Our loves the perfect crime

Quote of the day: "He has a bad memory masquerading as a clear conscience"

Praying For Love In A Lapdance

What goes on? Well today I had a morning class at 7:30. Then no more periods until last period, when I had Business Studies. That's a hell of a lot of study periods. Some actually spent working. Mostly I wrote a letter. It's pretty awesome too. If it's not appreciated I'll... well I wouldn't actually be that angry to warrant a consequence, but I would be fairly disappointed.

New oven Thursday :D Yay. Booking my haircut tomorrow coz I forgot when I got home this arvo.

I want to go to Eve's and go on a shopping spree because I saw these really nice outfits when I drove past there today. I must remember to do that.

Hey,
You know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own,
So don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough
For someone else.

I had to write the worst possible Gothic Horror opening I could manage for homework, so I shall share it with you. It's actually so bad it's funny, worth the read:



I squealed with terror as I viewed his ruby eyes which were like the ruby in my necklace, the necklace which now proved a useful target for him to single in on my pulsing pulse, a beacon on a lighthouse on the isolated rock on which I now stood defenceless as a crane in a storm of misfortune being chased by a vicious eagle, or maybe a bat because that is what my attacker was second ago, before he chased me down this dark, deserted alley, his black cloak like Severus Snape's as he wildly cried "I vant to suck your blood!" flapping his arms after me, oh how i regretted leaving my garlic out of last night's dinner, which I realised the leftovers would go to waste as I assumed I wouldn't be around to eat it and the cat can't open the fridge door, as I can't open the fridge door of freedom from the prince of darkness about to slurp out my soul, or at least my blood, which is just as bad.


Awful right? I'm pretty proud of it's hideousness personally. Haha.


I found out I'm in the school musical today. Shocked? So am I. I'm a dancer... which is even more shocking because it's been years since I did jazz ballet, so I don't think that's going to help me. Bonus? Kaileigh's choreographing, well not by herself, but still, so she can help me learn the dance moves :)

Extension English conversation:
Mr Knight: Ok girls, what's a better word for 'tease'?
Kaileigh: Bec Herbert

^^ She loves me.


Lose your mind.
Lose it now.
Lose your clothes
In the crowd.
We're delirious.
Tear it down
'Til the sun comes back around.

N-now we're getting so smashed.
Knocking over trash cans.
Everybody breakin' bottles
It's a filthy hot mess.
Gonna get faded
I'm not the designated
Driver so
I don't give a
I don't give a
I don't give a

So at the end of the day, I'm loving life :):):) I'm not sorry for anything, because I haven't done anything wrong and if you try and ruin the natural (and by natural we're talking endorphins people, not plants :P ) high I'm on be prepared to feel my wrath. And I don't want to get my wrath on, I'm in too good a mood :D

Quote of the day (from arguably the best modern author in the world): "There's always going to be bad stuff out there. But here's the amazing thing -- light trumps darkness, every time. You stick a candle into the dark, but you can't stick the dark into the light." — Jodi Picoult (Change of Heart)

He Tastes Like You Only Sweeter

Let's just get this out there: salt water does not wash your hair. Silly boy. :P

Parents are home again. Apparently I have to get my hair cut in installments. Yeah not going to happen. How about when you drop me off at the hair dresser and I just tell her what I want? Installments. Pffft. Not going to happen.

Kaileigh's over tomorrow :D yay

"Whether it's drugs, sex or death" - MTV add haha

I'm currently trying to convince John to give me a massage in study period tomorrow, because my back hurts. He says only if I play nicely. Grr.

Brady made me cry today. With some sad cancer people dying thing. Hmm a bit of a wussy thing on my behalf, but cancer's a bit of a touchy subject.

Nineties at nine is blaring through my house at the moment. Pretty good.

First week term 3 Tuesday - get keen. Going to be epic. Haha

You know what I just realised? I haven't been waterskiing in so long. I used to go out like every second day in the Summer holidays and most weekends. When we get the ski boat, I will again. Silly motor isn't strong enough anymore, it's getting a bit old. Until then I'll have to just get driven around on the back of motorbikes. Haha Oh and as of two seconds ago, we're going jetskiing. Get keen!

Might be going to skyfire with Sarah this weekend. I hope I can, it'll be so much fun. Please please please let me be able to go.

Not much to report really, and I'm needed elsewhere, so I'll leave you there.

And isn't this exactly where you'd like me
I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know
Praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety
Oh, isn't this exactly where you'd like me
I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know
Praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety

Oh how I love that song.

Quote of the day: Thanks for the memories. He tastes like you only sweeter.

Coz It Feels Like Stealing Hearts Calling Your Name From The Crowd

I love superwog. Seriously youtube that shit. Sooo funny.

So Brady tells me I should blog about him. Hmm. Yay Brady :):):) But apparently I need to write more. Hm what to write about Brady... he's a good kid? Ergh Brady why make me blog about you? Difficult little boy... haha. So I'll put it in his words.

xx Bec says:
what do u want me to say?
Brady says:
talk bout my stunning features

So Brady has stunning features? Hahaha. Perverted little boy who's always good for a laugh and talks crap, but in a good way. Like about how he wants a booty call in his closet. Oh and probably the smartest thing he's ever said: "omg bec you're my hero". Yay :D


There we go. That should keep him happy.

Moving on.

So tennis only lasted an hour and a half today. Four sets in an hour and a half. I think we set some new record. No pun intended. Easiest match ever. It was heaps chilled :D So I got home and studied for eight hours. My hands are so sore from writing :/

We found a snake and her babies in our yard today. My dog chased one of the baby snakes and it's currently hiding in one of our sensor lights. Yepp there's a little hole in the sensor light, and the snake slithered into it. Clever little bugger.

I've been living off coffee lately. Kaileigh's a bad influence lol. It's the only way I can fit everything in. Actually I think I'll go get another coffee now...
Ok got one. Where was I?

Getting my hair cut and nose pierced soon! Sorry for going on about it, but I'm so keen. Gonna be awesome :D

Not much to report really, oh Izzak sliced his finger open at tennis. That wasn't too fun for him. Silly boy. Shouldn't be throwing his racquet around. :P

But as for me, not much goes on. Although I smiled when I got a text message in reply to 'what you doing?' as 'lying in bed thinking about you' hahaha. I laughed, was pretty funny. :):)

Though a lady may repell your advance, she'll be kind
As long as you intimate what's on your mind
You may tell her you're hungry
That you need to be swung
You may ask her to see how your etchings are hung
Or mention the ashes that need to be hauled
Put the lid on a saucepan
Even lay is not too bold
But the moment you're forthright
Get ready to duck
Coz the girl isn't born yet
Who'll stand for 'let's fuck'

Quote of the day: "Forgiveness and letting go are steps on our road back to happiness" - Tina Dayton

And Just When The Critics Had Their Doubts

So if you feel me let me know
Come on now what you waiting for
My engine's ready to explode
So start me up and watch me go

So today was my Business Studies test. Kill me now. Ok, maybe that's a bit dramatic. But still, death in a test. Well the test itself wasn't that bad, but my poor timing skills without a visible clock resulted in me missing the last three questions. Which were only 1 and 2 mark ones, but still. Not a good way to start my Business Studies assesment portfolio lol.

So John got around with 'I <3 Bec' written on his arm today. Not sure how that got there ^.^ Miss Harris didn't find it as funny as the rest of us though. Whoops.

I don't know why they say that it's so bad being kicked when you're down. Coz in my opinion it's when you just think you're in with an advantage and the rug gets pulled out from underneath you, that's when it hurts the most. It's like the taste of happiness you had five seconds ago is a nice little reminder of how bad things are looking right now. Like when Australia won the womens relay swimming at the Olympics, so they jumped in the pool. Disqualified. In a few short minutes, they went from world champions to absolutely hating themselves for making such a silly, seemingly insignificant mistake. At least that had cause and effect. Sometimes though, shitty things happen to ruin your good mood, just because you were a bit too happy. Or because God has a sick sense of humour. One or the other. So that just happened to me, just when I thought I had the advantage again, a spanner is thrown in the works - and just when the critics had their doubts. Maybe Kaileigh's right, maybe they're just a complete dickhead. I just had an idea. Kaileigh, Brady and Ally will kill me if they read this and figure out what I'm thinking, but I'm starting to think it's time for the more drastic measures. Hey, it could work.

Bright side? I'm so over it, I think I'm slowly becoming immune. It's like a little voice in my head goes 'you saw this coming, it's not that much of a shock, wake up to yourself'. So I do. Move on.

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah you, PMS
Like a bitch
I would know

And you
Over-think
Always speak
Cryptically

I should know
That you're no good for me

Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You!
You don't really want to stay, no
You!
But you don't really want to go

So I think I have a plan of attack. Hmm we'll see how this works out.

I'm gonna get roared. Haha. Oh well. Unless they provide an alternative, I'm going ahead with my plan.

At first, when I see you cry
Yeah it makes me smile
Yeah it makes me smile
At worst I feel bad for a while
But then I just smile
I go ahead and smile

Heaps keen for my haircut and nose piercing ehh. I'm just really, really pumped. Time for some change. A new look and hopefully a bit of a new me. :):)

Quote of the day: "Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are." Houssaye

You Got A Piece Of Me

I guess this means you take back all you said before
Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said you'd never come back
But here you are again

So after last night, I think I've had quite enough drama in my week. Pretty keen for an uneventful blog post in relation to anything that could potentially result in an insurance claim.

So after training today, I did three straight hours of study, and this is part of my hour break before I do another two. Joy.

Business Studies test tomorrow. :| :| :| stressing.

You know what's always fun? Getting a text message from a guy friend asking for sex. Haha I wish I was kidding. But that's as eventful as my day has been. Loving the lack of drama, it's so much more chilled.

Only have half an hour of freedom left. Crap better write something.

Pressure doesn't suit me well. Umm I guess I'll sum up my message of this blog with an awesome song:

If I'm a bad person,
You don't like me.
I guess I'll go,
Make my own way.
It's a circle,
A mean cycle.
I can't excite you anymore.
Where's your gavel, your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me,
Well sentence me to another life.

(Chorus) Don't wanna hear your sad songs.
I don't wanna feel your pain,
When you swear it's all my fault.
Cause you know we're not the same.
Oh we're not the same,
The friends who stuck together.
We wrote our names in blood,
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good,
It's good.
You treat me just like another stranger.
Well it's nice to meet you sir.
I guess I'll go.
I best be on my way out.
Ignorance is your new best friend.

This is the best thing that could've happened.
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it.
It's not a war.
No, it's not a rapture.
I'm just a person, but you can't take it,
The same tricks that once fooled me.
They won't get you anywhere.
I'm not the same kid from your memory.
Now I can fend for myself.

(Chorus)

You treat me just like another stranger.
Well it's nice to meet you sir.
I guess I'll go.
I best be on my way out.

Quote of the day: "soz, no casual sex for you!"

Fire

I have had an epiphany. I'm going to change my hair and get my nose pierced. That's about it really. I'm going to cut my hair to like boob - make sure you note that I said boob height, as in below the shoulders, NOT BOB HEIGHT - get heaps more layers, and have my fringe shorter and more feathery I guess you could call it. So I just rang mum to tell her all of this, figured it'd be the nice thing to do. Boy did I cop it. "Don't do anything until I get home, your hair is who you are you can't just chop it all off blah blah blah blah". Yeah, nice one. I'll wait til she gets home, coz that's only three days and I couldn't get into town before then anyway, but I'm still getting it done. Not like she can stop me anyway. But I don't understand why she freaked out. It's not like I'm dying my hair black and getting a tattoo of a snake on my face. Then she could whinge.

So what else is new? Well not a lot really. Handed in my RE assignment today - just a heads up, if you carry a mini coffin on the bus and around school, people will ask questions. Lots of fun though, coz you can really freak them out. I think Lydia's explanation that my pet rat died was probably the best, certainly freaked out some year seven girls. Haha.

If I do have a kid, a girl - coz if it's a boy I'm naming it Zeke and giving it to Fan and Kaileigh to raise, according to our latest maths lesson - I promise not to freak out about hair cuts and piercings. Go for it.

School Photos. Ergh. My hair fell out on one side, which made it look messy, but idc, so they tell me to pin it back.

So I'm typing this as I watch the fire brigade drive away. Not even kidding. I'm shaking and the dog's crying and we need a new oven, but that's the extent of the damage. So our oven caught on fire. Wall of flame fire. Rang 000, fire brigade came out, fire extinguishers, took out the oven from the wall because it's burnt to a crisp. The house is full of smoke and I can't stop coughing.

So much for dinner ehh?

There's white powder from fire extinguishers everywhere. All through the kitchen, all through the loungeroom and dining room. Everything's either white from extinguishy stuff or black from ash and soot. Apparently the roof's not on fire, and neither is the wall behind the stove, but it's not wise to have electricity in the kitchen for a while. Extra heat might cause another fire. And we don't want that.

Trip to the insurance company tomorrow, need a new stove and hot plates. Oh and the cupboards above the stove. They're fucked. Throwing out all the food now, apparently they might be contaminated with the extinguishy stuff.

That was terrifying.

So suddenly I'm not in a blogging mood, and considering this had been open on my laptop for a few hours, I think it's time to give it a break.

Quote of the day: 000 asking me to spell Bergalia five times before they sent help

Don't be a little bitch with your chitchat

So I'm sufficiently lost. Not in the sense that my life has no direction or anything, just in the sense that I'm sitting here at my desk with no motivation to do my homework, or work on my english narrative. I'm also lost in my opinions. Which for anyone that knows me can tell you, is odd for me. I guess I'm an opinionated person. Not in a 'i'm right you're wrong' way, just a 'I appreciate you think that, but I'm standing by what I believe'. Well right now, my beliefs are limited.

Don't take that in a 'well Bec's gone all aetheist on us' because I'm not talking about the bigger picture, just about my little life at the present time and very near future. Yesterday if you had asked me what I wanted, right then and there, I could have told you. Now, i'm not so sure. I guess options do that to you, when you have too many options, it's hard to stick to just one. I'm glad I do have options, mind you, but I'm failing to find defining differences between them.

I'm starting to think that I'm too exhausted to make choices. I'm always doing something, that time where you could chill at home is now gone. Well this is as close as it gets for me. So I'll tell you, my ever faithful blog followers, my current dilemma.

But first, some hilarious antics from last night with Kaileigh. So we were joking around with one of our guy friends right (names will not be mentioned to protect the innocent, and not so innocent alike) and well, you can imagine. We were high on sugar and just wanted to do something funny. Long story short, we ended up convincing him that we wanted to have a threesome with him. I know, it was hilarious. So after having a good old laugh about it, and having him all not knowing what to say or do - did I mention he has a girlfriend? That bit's important. So being a good boyfriend, or coz he was feeling cruel, either way, he tells his girlfriend that Kaileigh and I were planning on having a threesome with him. Naturally, this didn't impress her. Not that she was angry at us, she was concerned that I was going to steal him off her. Well then we had to convince her it was a joke, and that I wasn't after her boyfriend. Which made her quite relieved, and now we all had a good, long laugh about it today. No drama, noone's mad. Just thought I'd share the hilarity with you. I mean it's not everyday a girl congratulates you for convincing her boyfriend you wanted to have a threesome with him. Glad she has a good sense of humour :)

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear
Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here


So where was I? Oh yeah, I'm feeling lost with a predicament. So here's my predicament. I can't make up my mind in relation to the old teenage cliche - which guy should you pursue? Trust me, I'll keep this brief, I'm not having a bitch about teenage issues and how much I'm 'in love' or whatever. So yeah, that's about it. I have a few options, and I can't figure out which one to go after. Not that big of a deal, but it seems to be some good blogging material.

Oh, and a certain memory keeps playing itself over and over in my mind. Joy. Yay for photographic memories :| Hahaha.

School photos tomorrow. Ergh. Death. I don't appreciate that we can't have our hair out. I know I sound superficial, but I don't care. I mean it's a bloody photo, as if it really matters if our hair is out - what's the worst that could happen? Someone looks nicer? OH GOD THAT CAN'T HAPPEN!!!

Grr. Well there's my rant.

I wanna feel reckless
I wanna live it up, just because
I wanna feel weightless
Cause that would be enough


I also have a shout out. Because today was a sad, sad day. RIP <3 you little legend :)

I feel like dancing. A lot. It's been a feeling I've had for a few days now. I think I'm going stir crazy. Lol. I'm keen for tennis then, go somewhere that isn't home or school. Yay tennis courts. Hopefully it's not as hot as last week.

Cause all I really want is to be with you
Feeling like I matter too
If I didn't blow the whole thing years ago
I might be here with you

So what's new? Hmmm... well John wasn't at school today, so I actually got work done in study period haha. Apart from that... not a hell of a lot. I found my webcam! Yay! Not that I use it, but it's nice to have the option. Which is ironic, considering I was talking about options annoying me before. So here's the general rule: appliances are allowed to provide multiple options, boys should be easier to decide about. Yeah I'm patenting that shit. OMG scariest music on my Gothic Horror presentation today. I scared myself. Not even kidding. "Demon children singing" was how Kaileigh described it. I decided turning it off was more productive that describing its scariness. Yet, I just copied them all onto my ipod. Yay for scaring the shit out of myself :S

I'm not so good with the scary.

Well this blog is getting rather long, so I might cut it off here, for fear of boring you all.

Quote of the day: "What was that? No! Don't look back, don't even dare! Better not to know what might be there" - voiceover for my assignment(the one that terrified us)

:):):):)

Life is far too important to take seriously :)

I've been working on my english narrative draft/scaffold all day, I'm taking a break to update this. When I've finished this assignment, I think I'll dance. Or sing. Or sacrafice a small woodland creature. Something celebratory anyway.

Oh great, I have my Ext English presentation tomorrow. Oh well, at least I'm only presenting it to two people. That's gotta be good for the nerves.

I'm gonna make you bend and break
(It sends you to me without wait)
Say a prayer but let the good times roll
In case God doesn't show
(Let the good times roll, let the good times roll)
And I want these words to make things right
But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life
"Who does he think he is?"
If that's the worst you got
Better put your fingers back to the keys
One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
Even though they weren't so great
He tastes like you only sweeter

Apart from english, I'm in an easily amused mood today, so I thought I'd share with you some of my main forms of amusement
- Phineas and Ferb
-People watching - when you make up their life stories
- The weird and wonderful situations my group finds themselves in - "Guys! Guys I'm here! I'm not dead! Guys
- The fact that he has a girlfriend, yet keeps telling me about 'when we get together'
- The fact that I've never even hinted to wanting to be with him, he just assumes I do? :S
- Chipmunk versions of songs
- That Kaileigh, Sarah and myself have started giving people theme songs
- That Dad told me to put the dog's beanbag in my room so she doesn't get lonely while him and Mum are out of town
- All Time Low video clips
- Jodi Picoult books <3
- Knowing who people are referring to in blogs and statuses
- My dog, who squeaks and purs more than she barks
- That my ipod clock is an hour fast, and everytime I look at it, I trip out, without fail
- Allocating songs to situations in your friends lives
- Realising how insanely stubborn I am
- Reading past blog posts and having a different view to what you did a few nights before
- Guitar Hero
- The Sims 3
- Gossip Girl
- Veronica Mars
- Explicit sexual talk for the express purpose of making the people eavesdropping on your conversation uncomfortable

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir
Voulez vous coucher avec moi
He come through with the money and the garter belts
I let him know we bout that cake straight up the gate
We independent women, some mistake us for whores
I'm sayin' why spend mine when I can spend yours
Disagree?
Well that's you and I'm sorry
Imma keep playing these cats out like Atari
Wear high heel shoes get love from the dudes
Four bad ass chicks from the Moulin Rouge

I don't have anything else on my mind really, I'll try to think of something more controversial or in depth for next time. :P Until then,

"Drop the idea that you are Atlas carrying the world on your shoulders. The world would go on even without you. Don't take yourself so seriously." - Norman Vincent Peale

xxx :):):)

The Devil's in the Details

Today was way too hot to play tennis. Too much effort, kinda just gave up in the end. We thought by throwing the last set we'd still win. Turns out we can't count. We ended up tying. Which actually for memory is wrong... we won 4 games in the last set. Haha we did win. Just wrote the games down wrong. So in reality we won, on paper, and officially, however, we tied. Oh well, what are you going to do?

Finished my Ext. English presentation... I'm praying the animations and sounds are compatible with the school's system. If not, I may cry. I've granted myself a break from work, given that I've only got one more assesment to worry about... not counting the Business Studies and Maths tests, because I don't have to hand them in.

Let me know that I've done wrong
When I've known this all along
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

I've noticed that when I accidentally get lost in thought and don't reply, people think I'm ignoring/angry at them. Chances are if I don't answer you, I've forgotten I need to, or I just didn't hear you. So don't stress :)

My grandparents are minding our house this week coz my parents are in QLD on business - remind me again why I said 'oh no, I'll stay home, I have assesments due'?? <-- stupid move.

Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out
I'm nothing without you

I've been told that although my blog is happy, which is apparently a nice change, it's a bit cryptic. Sorry about that. I guess the only way I can make it more clear is to point out the song lyrics and quotes are all relevant, just my way of mixing it up a bit so its not just me rabbitting on about my life. I hope that helps.

Being with you
Is so disfunctional
I really shouldn't miss you
But I can’t let you go

So just a random message to those who do know what I'm talking about: I'm not giving up. I don't care if you'd love me to just fade away and let everything go back to 'normal'. But we were never really normal. Guess you're just going to have to put up with me, coz I'm sure I'm even just a little bit right. Or I'm completely wrong, but I have two back up plans going at the moment, and they're looking just as good as Plan A. I guess in the end, I win either way. Which is awesome for me at least. Maybe I'm just stubborn, but you know me, and you know I don't like to lose.
(I may sound selfish, but I don't care. Because if you think this sounds selfish, chances are you have no idea what I'm talking about. Let's not judge what we don't understand.)
Doesn't matter so much what happens on an individual basis, just as long as I win out in the end. And don't deny it, you know I will, eventually. The Devil's in the details babe.

I was trying to make mum feel guilty for going to QLD without me this afternoon, telling her I was in my 'hour of need'. Apparently I'm full of shit. I thought it was a good try. I mean for all she knows I could be in an hour of need. I'm not, but I could be. According to mum, I hate the sight of my own blood so I'm not going to cut myself, plus the fact I'm not depressed, means that she shouldn't be worried about me. Oh and I don't usually eat much anyways, so eating disorders aren't an option either.

Guess she showed me.

Quote of the day (I laughed xD): The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Hells yeah weekend :D

So I've decided Kaileigh and Sarah are right, it is a dog eat dog world, and everyone's so caught up in trying to make everything more dramatic than it really is. So this is my epiphany: no more games. No more bullshit. Just simple honesty, even when it is blatant, and whatever happens happens. No regrets and all that jazz. Not much of an epiphany maybe, but it's something.

With this epiphany, I've decided to give myself a fresh start. So everything is chilled and I'm just keen to get on with life.

So cut to the chase kid
Coz I know you don't care what my middle name is
I wanna be naked and you're wasted

Life isn't bad and gloomy, no matter what your blogs say. I'm not saying you can't be sad, just that you need some perspective. I'm not idealistic, I'm realistic. Because there's tonnes of people that have it worse than you, so harden the fuck up and be happy :)

So now I find myself in a bit of a predicament. Haha the situations I get myself into, sometimes I wonder how I manage. I seem to attract guys with girlfriends. I'm no homewrecker, that's just how it seems to work. Which makes life pretty damn funny. But I find everything funny lately.

Take me, show me
The corners of your empty room
The trouble we could get in to
Just fake it for me
Disregard the footsteps
And we'll never tell a soul

Another epiphany, woah another one you say? We're deep tonight aren't we?
Well here it goes - don't take yourself or life too seriously, have fun, and keep secrets secret. Sounds simple enough, but that way, everyone wins.

I'm in a really good mood as of last night, I'm not too sure why. Ok maybe I do know why. Pretty much I'm back to normal. I had my week of getting caught up in drama and other people's bullshit, and now I'm happy to go back to being me and pushing my luck with pretty much everything I do. Including the two of them. Oh well, they still love me :P

Finally: If you're trying to bring up shit that's in the past, don't expect me to listen. Unless it's like a 'haha remember when'. If you're going to try and talk about a 'what if' or a 'it would have been better if' or 'lets talk about the reasons _____ happened' just don't. Honestly I don't want to hear it. So go annoy someone else, I don't know. Unless you're one of my close friends and you're in need of a DnM, not interested, soz.

Care for some enlightenment? My quote of the day:
"No, we don't cheat. And even if we did, I'd never tell you." Tommy Lasorda

One by one my assignments are finished, yet english still sits there staring at me, mocking my inability to be chinese. Which is what I should be doing now.

It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss

Tennis training was interesting. I don't know why I was such a bitch, it just happened. It was like I couldn't control what I was saying, and even when I was trying to be polite, I sounded so very sarcastic. But I think now it's fine. Should be chilled for Saturday anyway. Guess we'll wait and see.

Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go

So there's something I simply must say: You're not in love. This isn't direceted at anyone in particular, just at the general teenage "we went out for a few weeks/months and now we're in love" population. Are you willing to spend the rest of your lives together? I didn't think so.

And now for your entertainment, 21 things I'd love to say to people that I can't/won't. I know it's not orginal, but oh well :)

1. I guess you cheating on her was proof of how much you like her then?
2. I can't remember the last time I heard someone say something nice about you
3. Don't be a jerk to her just because you can't have her
4. Thank you for talking me through everything, I'll have that hug tomorrow :)
5. Grow up, you're acting like a 12 year old
6. It's not that bad, wake up to yourself
7. You can do so much better
8. You picked the right one
9. If you go through with this, you're an idiot
10. Just tell them, they won't judge you :)
11. You're the luckiest girl I know at the moment, so cheer up
12. Stay away and don't come back
13. No matter how hurt I may seem, you brighten my week
14. If only you weren't off limits...
15. Your girlfriend's really funny looking, soz
16. I wish you'd tell me what the secret discussions are about, just like to be in the loop
17. I'm not avoiding you, I just don't particularly want to talk to you
18. You're so stupid you didn't realise the chick you were screwing was engaged... to another chick - yeah that's right you moron - your girlfriend has a girlfriend
19. Come home soon!!
20. I'm sorry you're ashamed of me or whatever
21. Just coz you're playing nice, doesn't mean I don't realise you're still sleezy

I'll leave you with my quote of the day:
"Once you had put the pieces back together, even though you may look intact, you were never quite the same as you'd been before the fall." — Jodi Picoult

There's something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be violated.

Two essays down and feeling good.
I don't think i've bullshitted that much ever before than what I did in my re essay today. Fair sure Miss is gonna notice too, oh well...
You know what's awesome? Nesquik. I'm like addicted to it.
I finished decorating my coffin for re, so im pretty much cruising assesment wise these days.

Dad's been on hold with Telstra for an hour now, and he's just left the phone on the bench on speaker and all i can hear is that annoying 'on hold' music, I'm gonna laugh if he walks out of the room and a person comes on. Before he was arguing with the computer, apparently it couldn't understand he was saying 'wireless'.

Kaileigh set my wallpaper as a picture of her, and although it's a lovely picture, it keeps freaking me out when I open my phone... just Kaileigh staring at me haha.

So my rents bought a laptop for the shop today, which I've spent all afternoon setting up. Well i lied, it took about five seconds. But still. It's half the size of my laptop and it's weird to use. Like those little ones the school has, but not as small.

Haha the telstra man just picked up the phone, he has a hectic accent and Dad's not gonna be able to understand him, at all. This is hilarious. I feel sorry for both of them. Oh wait, maybe not. Coz dad just said 'mate it's good to speak to an Australian'. Guess I heard wrong.

Well I can't think of anything to write, so I might just leave you there.

Until next time, I'll leave you with a quote of the day:
"There's something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be violated." - Chuck Bass